"Pfffffttt..."

When you sound it out, that may seem like just a funny little noise. And to most people it probably doesn't mean much. But when you're a new parent, that "little noise" takes on a whole new meaning. Jason and I have learned that the hard way. *sigh*

To us, that little, innocent, oh-so-unassuming noise is......a warning.

[Again, I'll try my best not to get too graphic. BUT it's kind of difficult to discuss poop using nothing but euphemisms. That's right -- I said poop. Consider yourself warned. During the course of this post, you will be confronted by words such as poo, poop, poopy, spit-up, pee, and projectile. Sorry -- sometimes it's just gotta be talked about. And let's face it... Isn't it a lot less offensive that these terms are being used in reference to my itty-bitty 5-1/2-week-old baby?]

Like I said, this "pffffffttt" noise should always, always, always be considered a warning. Even if it is a false alarm, you should be on-guard. The second you start thinking it's no big deal, you end up sitting on your bedroom floor at 2:00 in the morning blotting the remnants of the latest projectile poop episode out of your carpet. Which is exactly where I found myself last night.

The first time I was "christened" during a diaper change, there was no warning. I'm not even sure I would've known what to do if there was. All I remember is one second I was positioning a clean diaper under Everett's tush, and the next instant I was standing frozen, mouth agape, staring at the child in disbelief. Yes, I was covered in poo. And my dear mother was standing next to me laughing her butt off. Seriously, she could barely stand she was laughing so hard. I almost cried. Upon reflection, I feel okay admitting that I probably would've laughed too in her position. And now, when something unexpected happens during a diaper change, I usually laugh it off. What else can you do...?

Anyway, since that first time, there have been several projectile poop-ings. Fortunately, Jason and I now know the warning signs -- tiny noises eminating from Everett's bottom, certain grunts or funny faces, the sudden quiet stillness that overtakes Everett right before.... That last one is also a good indication that Everett's about to pee all over the place during a diaper change, usually once the old diaper's off and the new one's not quite on yet. And somehow, even though Jason and I have each had our share of "surprises", I find myself reminding Jason on a regular basis: "he's gonna pee on you if you don't cover that thing" or "careful, he's been trying to make poopy for a while now..." Last night was once such instance.

As Jason so kindly got up to change Everett during a late-night nursing sessions, I sat in bed half-watching. I think Jason reached to get something (probably a rag to wipe the spit-up that was running down Everett's cheek), and that's when I heard it. "Pffffffttt..." And I said, "was that a toot?" Jason said "yeah..." (Of course I'm thinking, when I hear that noise, I grab whatever I can and block Everett's nether-regions.) At that very moment, Everett launched poop all over Jason's arm and the carpet and the wall beyond the changing table! (Apparently Jason didn't heed the warning.) And what did I do next?

I laughed.

And then I got up and helped clean the carpet.