"Um, that could be a good thing..."

That was my darling husband's response when I woke him up at 4:00 in the morning to announce the news, "Jason......I think I'm pregnant."

Really, I don't even remember what prompted me to take the pregnancy test...or why I even had one, for that matter. Call it "mother's intuition", I guess. And as the picture proves, I took two more tests over the next 24-hour period. Fine, call me neurotic, but I know I'm not alone here! I don't know what it is about women that we have such a tendency to be so disbelieving in that instant. Surely, it must be for the sake of self-preservation -- not wanting to get too attached to the idea without sufficient confirmation. Now for the "official confirmation" -- the doctor visit. I would've gone that instant if I could, but of course, I couldn't get an appointment to see my doctor for several days. So I spent the next few days doing as little as humanly possible. Mostly, I walked really slow, avoided any jarring movements, and sat with my feet up a lot......just in case. After what felt like an eternity of holding my breath, we finally got the word from the doctor: "Yep, you are in fact pregnant!" I didn't cry, and neither did Jason, but I'm pretty sure I walked around with a dumb-looking grin on my face for days. And since we thought it too soon to share the news (...just in case...), I'm sure this spacey-brained, smiley, preoccupied attitude was somewhat confusing to those around me. And then it hit me...

Oh my gosh, I'M PREGNANT!!!!

All at once, a million thoughts flooded my mind, and I felt more overwhelmed than any other instant in my life. "How can we do this? We're moving to California. We'll never be able to afford to send our kid to college. I have to schedule doctor appointments. What if something bad happens?" So many questions, with no rhyme or reason, and so few answers. And I had to remind myself to breathe: inhale... exhale... inhale... exhale... And then I cried.

Gradually, over the next days and weeks, I adjusted to the reality of my (our) situation, and things were okay. Of course, this added a whole other dimension to the planning and process of our upcoming new life in California, but we just had to remember to take things one step at a time. Things have a way of working out. And they did. And they still are.

We finally got settled into our house at the beginning of November. Right about that time, Jason and I got our first really good look at our baby-to-be. I present to you "Baby Cole"! (Since we have opted to not find out in advance the sex of the baby, this is the best we can do for a name.)

I know it may not look like much, which is why I thought the labels might be helpful, but we were ecstatic. Being able to watch the baby move around during the ultrasound was so amazing. At that point, Baby Cole was still too small for me to feel moving, so this was really the only confirmation we had that everything was okay. And no matter how positive a person you are, I think every first-time/new mom kind of wonders..."Do you think everything's alright?" Thankfully, in our case, everything has been great!

Just before New Year's, I started to feel the flutters. This was very confusing, as I had been asking myself for weeks, "Did I just feel something?" To which I would often reply, "Nah, probably not." And I would go on about my business. But there was definitely one instance of particularly nagging "butterflies" in my stomach that I just couldn't shake. And then it hit me -- that's it! That's the baby moving! Unfortunately for Jason, Baby was still too small for him to feel, so he just had to take my word for it that Baby seemed active and happy. A few weeks later, Jason finally got a hint of what I'd been feeling. We woke up kind of early on a Saturday and just laid in bed talking about Baby. I was feeling tiny pokes and kicks, so I put Jason's hand on my tummy and held it there for a few minutes. Sure enough, "Hi, Dad!" I think a lot changed for Jason in that moment. Not like he didn't believe there was truly a tiny human growing inside me, but at least now it was tangible for him. And believe me, Jason and I have both had many more interactive moments with Baby Cole over the past couple months -- this kid is really a mover-and-shaker! It's quite entertaining.

Now, here I am 7 1/2 months pregnant. It's amazing that this moment seemed so very distant all those months ago when I took the first test, but time has really flown by. There's been a lot going on in our lives over the past six/seven months. And now everything else seems to be fading into the background. I find it pretty difficult to focus on much of anything NOT baby-related these days. We've had our baby showers, we're trying to ready the house, doctor appointments are becoming more frequent, we're taking the childbirth classes... We're just counting down. But really, that "due date" is only a best guess. There's no telling when this kid will actually decide to join us, and there's very little we can do about that. I only hope we're ready when it happens!

Well, ready or not......!